Poste/2.12.2006
From MoongatesWiki
Devante Flogged!
Marksmen Captain joins in bizarre Kaldorian customs...
That's right; I might as well just have reprinted last week's article about the Bow-twanging boys and their embarrassing defeat in Serpent's Hold. But no, not on Miss Hearsay’s watch! Instead, I shall share with you another gruelling story; a story of broken bows, broken hearts and broken nails.
It was a chilly night and I'm sure the Kaldorian army were finally seeing why kilts were such a daft idea after all. Nevertheless, the mercilessly mean Commander Soulshadow led her troops around, hoping to find the anticipated Marksmen unit intent on liberating the Kaldorian controlled town.
What followed was a most terrifying and gruesome affair, with lots of bashing and not much volleying. When my terrified little onlooker opened their eyes, all that could be seen was a neatly stacked pile of comatose Marksmen bodies, along with their Captain, who was dragged off by Kaldorian Sergeant Mordred. After what could only be described as a firm warning, the severely disheartened Devante was duly flogged – although whether this was meant as a punishment or because the Captain wanted to try something new remains a mystery.
Will our brave (if utterly incompetent) loyalist boys ever recapture what is rightfully theirs? The Kaldorians seem to remain a right silly nuisance – one which must be properly dealt with before the Rebel horde is truly flattened.
[Oh goody - a contribution to the Poste! Thank you kindly, mystery scribbler!]
Yewish Militia March On A Brigand Fort!
Hostilities break out in Yew!
Last eve one of our contacts was witness to a clash between the Yew Militia and a gang of brigands! The militia, apparently fed up with hearing reports from the citizens of yew about brigands robbing this and mugging that, decided enough was enough. The militia gathered in force with the Britannia guards and marched on the brigand lands! Once the loyalist alliance found the brigand fort all hell broke loose. The battle was bloody and after the first charge by the loyalists the brigands were pushed back inside their fort. On the second charge both sides took heavy losses but all the brigands were finally cut down. Will this be the last of the brigand menace or will they be out for revenge? Can the Yew Militia now rest easy? Only time will tell dear readers!
Rumours
- Two Trinsic guards along with some other Trinsic residents..seen offering a poor serf boy as a sacrifice to the Dark Lord, to deter him from entering the city. Fortunately for the boy the Dark Lord is rumoured to have thrown him back saying he smelt a bit off!!
- The Blue Meanie has been seen around again, trying to find bits of blackrock for his master, so citizens beware!
Letters to the Editor
Dear poste,
I still have nay received any payment for your buildings yet. As you are quickly falling behind in payments the Duchy reserves the use of your printing machines for posters and such.
We also expect you to consider in your articles that the poste is still open because we nay insist on the full payments at this time and give you time to pay it off.
Kaelyn
[Oh dear me – how embarrassing! Lady Kaelyn, you are lovely. Truly lovely. I'm sure we can get our funds together soon. In the meantime, have an absolutely brilliant day and be sure to take the time off that you so rightfully deserve! – H.H.]
Notices from the Lovely Duchy
Wanted
Dexius Brutus
For the delivering of the thug Dexius Brutus to the Trinsic guards, the Duchy offers the reward of 2000 gold.
It is nay necessary to deliver him whole and sound, but he should at least be conscious and certainly be alive.
Description:
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Hair: Light
Last seen wearing: iron plate and chain armor, combined with red clothing
Weapons: Bladed weapons of various types
He is dangerous with his weapons and also quick at running and might be associated with other brigands.
Kaelyn
[Yes! Bag that man! - H.H.]
Bounty
As the Duchy of Trinsic suffers from continued undead attacks these last few weeks, it was decided that for every destroyed undead on Duchy lands the Duchy will pay a bounty of 1000 gold. To prove that an undead has been destroyed, collect its bones and show it to a guard who will check the rests and then dispose of them.
Kaelyn
[Yes! Bag those bones! - H.H.]
Adverts
Found in Trinsic on Thursday: an old wristwatch which Natalie the guard has in safekeeping. Please see her to get it back. Proof of ownership will be required.
